by Samantha Maciag and Dan MacRae
Body-themed songs for your ears' pleasure
And lo, did the editorial decision come down that the Carillon was doing a "body"-themed issue. How about some musical accom- paniment? Here's 14 tracks featuring insightful discussion on rumps, self-esteem and making love to the dead. Samantha Maciag's Funky and Danceable Selections Justin Timberlake - "Rock Your Body": In the past year and a half, this dude has proven himself untouchable, which makes us all want to touch him. He's beautiful, and the song reminds me of being 19, in a club, and groovin' all over the dance floor with a drink that is far too strong (in each hand). Tim McGraw - "Just To See You Smile": Everyone has a favourite Tim song (everyone who likes Tim McGraw anyway) and this would be mine. McGraw is like a fine wine - he only gets better with age. Sir Mix-A-Lot - "Baby Got Back": Is there anyone that does- n't know the words to this song? For a demonstration of the ridiculous popularity of a song that will rival "Ice Ice Baby," play at ample volume in a room full of drunk people at a party. TLC - "Unpretty": I have to acknowledge one of the only songs in popular music that openly addresses the gigantic issue of body image in society. Busta Rhymes - "Break Ya Neck": Good luck sitting still to this one. It's so catchy, the beat makes you bounce up and down in your chair or wherever you are standing. Or, maybe that's just me. Destiny's Child - "Bootylicious": As if this wasn't one of the catchiest songs of 2001. Fun fact: DC did not coin the term "booty- licious" - Snoop Dogg used it in lyrics on Dr. Dre's album, The Chronic, released in 1992. John Mayer - "Your Body is a Wonderland": Sweetest song ever. Mayer had ladies everywhere (myself included) swooning when this one was released. It's probably one of the best compli- ments put into a song, and wow, can that man, work a guitar. Dan MacRae's Dipset Endorsed Selections Cam'ron - "I.B.S.": When Killa Cam isn't busy making dope albums, campy movies, and picking fights with everyone in hip- hop (Cam's YouTube diss videos are postmodern genius), he's dealing with irritable bowel syndrome. This track lays out a shameless rapper's embarrassing medical condition. Field Mob - "Blacker The Berry": ATL rappers reminisce over the difficulties of growing up as darkest shade of dark skinned black men, and then reaping the benefits of the success of Wesley Snipes (among other things). Witty, charming, and personal. Fantastic stuff. Sonic Youth - "Superstar": Thurston and Co. get all lo-fi on this AM radio staple made famous by the Carpenters. Their ver- sion would have made the list, but the whole Karen Carpenter starving herself to death thing would have been a downer. Child Molesters - "I'm Gonna Punch You In The Face": As far as extended threats of getting punched in the face go, this is the tops. Receiving a roundhouse to the face is an inconvenience, and I would try to avoid it if possible. Forgotten Rebels - "Fuck Me Dead': Clutching the necrophil- ia song-canon out of the grip of Norse black metal, legendary Canadian punk outfit, Forgotten Rebels, give us this snappy num- ber about having sex with corpses. R. Kelly - "Sex In The Kitchen (Remix)": If banging the decomposed isn't your thing, why not move it to the kitchen? Kelly is out of the closet, and making love where you heat your Pizza Pops. It's hard to decipher if "we'll be cutting up tomatoes, fruits, vegatables, and potatoes" is a strange innuendo or a plea to feed your body according to Canada's Food Guide, though. Spank Rock - "Lindsay Lohan Revenge": Consider this track to be the Algonquin Round Table on celebrities that choose not to wear underwear. Filthy bon mots such as "Lohan showing them coochie lips/look like a baby rat" should spark an interesting exchange of ideas.