Every year it seems to come earlier. Hallowe'en over? Time to celebrate Christmas!!!
All I have to say is "Bah Humbug!"
Those who choose to exacerbate Christmas into a four month commercial extravaganza are ruining my enjoyment of the holiday and that of others too. Christmas is less about what presents you give/receive or whether you choose that "perfect" Hallmark card, and more about personal moments with family and friends. Before you start yawning and turn the page, this concerns you too.
Meanings of Christmas vary. The truth is that the original pagan celebration of the winter solstice was to provide an alternative to winter doldrums and to remind people of the return of spring. Hence the Christmas "Evergreen" tree, feasting, yule logs, and mistletoe.
The celebration and merriment carried on throughout the centuries, incorporating various myths. St.Nicholas/Father Christmas/Weihnachtsman are European folk characters, onto which Christianity was later tacked. In this way I guess one could justify tacking capitalism onto the holiday as well. After all, how can you discriminate against one philosophy and not another?
In this, Christmas is the biggest smorgasbord holiday ever created, possibly the most democratic holiday there is.
Even its mascot, Santa, is created in the image of a corporate creation, designed by Coca-Cola as a marketing gimmick. Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and for 15 U.P.C. symbols, he'll even send you an authentic reindeer turd. The original concepts of St. Nicholas did not include anagrams for Satan. It took the Americans to come up with that one.
It's a wonder kids still can conceive of Santa at all anymore, with all the brand name toys under the Christmas tree every year. Most kids today have never seen a homemade toy, and must assume that Santa gets bargain priced toys at Price Club or something.
It's impossible to avoid it, I know, but Christmas is what you make it, and I refuse to watch those marketing losers rape and pillage Santa as the poster boy for global yuletide commodification. They know Jesus isn't fair game, even though it's supposed to be his birthday, but they're willing to bastardize pagan heritage by showing the man in his underwear drinking a cold one by the fire. Blasphemy! The corporate Santa gang-bang is just not something I, as a northern-euro descendant, appreciate.
In some countries they still light candle headbands and leave wooden shoes out to celebrate Christmas. Let's get back to the basics people! Just be prepared to have fire extinguishers at the ready. Of course this is not very practical...
Okay loudmouth, you're saying, what's your proposed solution? Well, I am all for homegrown family tradition. None of this mass-market special moments crap, and the commercial traditions are bogus. How many people actually drink Carnation hot chocolate while going for a ride in a one-horse open sleigh anyway?
Yuletide celebrations should occur right up until New Year's and not culminate in the consummate Boxing Day shopping spree.
I suggest an alternative in the true spirit of the winter solstice: 1. Plaster your house with lights; it helps combat Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.). 2. Eat lots of turkey, it has enzymes that increase seratonin, and helps fight depression. 3. Make snow angels in every available snowy space after downing too many Noggilizers with the family, just 'cause it's fun. 4. Reinstate carolling as a competitive sport.
Do whatcha gotta, just try not to fall into the capitalist gap. Remember, creativity is your friend. Get Santa a rape whistle, already.
